Asking a friend to go out with you is not hurtful. You are allowed to come out as bisexual if you’re only attracted to one of your friends named Greg and haven’t first run a hypothetical attraction test on all the other men in the world. You are allowed to come out as bisexual in your late 20s. He worried that it was his “fault” and that I wouldn’t want to be friends anymore. But he concluded I was angry with him, texted me an upset-sounding apology. I also texted him the same information, just in case. I had to leave early the next morning for a work emergency, so I left him a note (along with a glass of water and some aspirin) explaining why I had to leave. I initiated it, and he asked several times if I was OK with what we were doing. I was at his place recently, comforting him over a breakup we got drunk and slept together. Possibly bisexual: I have always identified as a straight guy, but I am recently panicked and confused by feelings for my best friend (a gay man), “Greg.” We’ve known each other since college and have always been close. Here’s an edited transcript of this week’s chat.ĭaniel Mallory Ortberg: Hi, everyone! Hope you all enjoyed the break-now it’s back to your regularly scheduled Dear Prudence. And while many of these Reddit writers intend it as a punchline, it just comes off as a sad, insecure button on an otherwise amusing story.īut one of our favorite stories, from u/miatapasta, scraps the homophobia head on.Daniel Mallory Ortberg is online weekly to chat live with readers. The thread is peppered with “no homo” jokes. I’m straight but gay for that guy.Įven the funnier, happier ‘most intimate moment’ stories feel the sting of toxic masculinity. He smiles at me, and goes back to his game. I look into his eyes, laughing out of the absurdity of what this man was doing.
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So he stops playing his game, takes his hands, gently put them over mine, and moves my hands and pushes my fingers so I can learn how to do combos with the characters. I was struggling to even get past the first stage, and this guy notices. He was playing a fighting game, while nearby was a man playing the same game and getting perfect scores. Though that one was pretty heavy, one of the funnier stories was u/MonsieurMagnet‘s ‘most intimate moment’ story that happened on his way to Japan. Toxic masculinity is the culprit behind many guys keeping these ‘most intimate moment’ stories a secret There is no shame in loving another person, helping another person or being there for another person, especially when they need you most. This is exactly what we talk about when we say that toxic masculinity hurts everyone. It’s sad when sharing an intimate moment is awkward because of perceived masculinity issues. Why should that be awkward? As he says, the guy needed it. Awkward looking back, but in the moment he needed it. We hugged for a solid 30 seconds and he sobbed into my chest. For example, u/Wompingsnatterpuss shared his most intimate moment: Though those are both stories of people being there for each other, one recurring theme was people feeling awkward about it. That happened two weeks ago and we haven’t talked about it yet, but I’m glad he trusted me, and hope he seeks me out if he’s feeling that way again. He eventually calmed down and went to bed. He kept trying to push back because his every instinct was telling him that this wasn’t OK, but I just shushed him and rubbed his back as I held him. I held him in my arms while he weeped for about half an hour. He got real sad and started crying, except he was insecure about his masculinity so he would cry for a few minutes about how he felt around other guys, then deny that he felt like that and this cycle would repeat every five minutes.įinally I broke through to him that feeling like this was completely fine and actually good (better acknowledging than hiding it). We were all drinking but he clearly had the most and texted an ex, so I brought him back to our room to keep an eye on him. My fraternity brother/roommate was having a bad day. Redditor u/svd1399 had this to say when asked about his most intimate moment: It’s unfortunate that many straight guys feel their most intimate moment with another guy should be kept secret or is shameful
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I’ve never been more emotionally unstable. My best friend put me in his car and we drove around while I sobbed uncontrollably. I totally unraveled in a friend’s kitchen. I thought I could handle it but a week or two after it happened, I got into a fight with my girlfriend at a party and started crying. This beautiful story comes from u/tinsinpindelton: The Reddit thread combined hilarious stories with more touching revelations.